Rules of engagement : a focus on relationships

There are rules written and unwritten that binds and seeks to give the dos and don’ts in relationships .These  I termed as  rules of engagement in relationships .

Rules of engagement (ROE) originally are internal rules and directives among military forces,they serve as  a source of guidance and dictate what measures are acceptable.

I have therefore borrowed this term for easy understanding  of rules that binds relationships that one needs to take note off.Below are some of these rules.

1.What you sow is what you reap ,we sow not just for ourselves but generations to come.


If you walk around selfish,not willing to look out for anyone or not willing to consider anyone then don’t be surprised when others do same to you.

Sometimes people will never understand the damages they cause others until same is done to them

We need to always remember that,life is an echo what you send,comes back .What you give ,you get .What you see in others exists in you,therefore it is advisable to empathize  with people  rather than be all judgmental .Stay nice even when others don’t,radiate and give love not  for others seek but for  one’s own seek.Support and applaud the accomplishments of others and as your do you nurture the soil for your own to blossom.

2.The people you gossip with will definitely gossip about you.images (1)

Gossip is a nasty disease, a poison that kills relationships. People like to talk and listen to damaging or intimate details information about others to hide their insecurities.

They point out flaws in other people for validation.

The most dangerous part about gossip is that it steals another person’s reputation which is very fragile, hence destroying something extremely valuable.It should be noted that gossip destroys relationships and trust.Aside this the parties involve in the gossip will by all means gossip about each other.

  1. Your network is your net worth

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Networking is marketing.Market yourself well,market your uniqueness,market what you stand for.Everything  you post on social media impact on your personal brand,how you want to be known.Networking is not all about what others can give or do for  you but what you can also do for others in your own small way.If you want to have friends you must be friendly and respectful to the views of others.If you want your posts to be liked on social media you would have to like or comment generously on others post .Shading ,trolling ,ignoring or being nasty to people on social media in the name of having fun cannot give you that which you seek.Remember people may want to network with might read your nasty comments on others and might decide not to associate with you

4. Money matters


Borrowing money from friends or family members is a daisy thing to do because once you  borrow money from such people it changes the dynamics and power balance in the relationship.

People have different attitudes about money, and while some may be forgiving when one cannot repay another may hound until you pay up. One of the worst things you can do when you owe someone money is to avoid that person or begrudge them. Both of you (the lender and borrower) know you still owe the money and not speaking about it makes them feel disrespected.

Most borrowers assume that borrowing from friends or relatives mean that,more time can be taken in repaying. However the right thing to do is repay as soon as possible or negotiate a new repayment plan and whiles doing that hold off on fancy new things to avoid resentment.

In addition to the above, be upfront about your financial situation and come clean and honest because more often than not, people can sense when the borrower is not being completely honest or using excuses to buy more time and that makes the nonpayment even worse.

5. Every betrayal begins with trust


Betrayal does not come from enemies but from ones own trusted inner circle.It hurt when betrayed however,that should be the end of the story.

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