Dear Who Left

Dear Who Left,

I want you to read this carefully cos am tired of this back and forth and so Am downloading my emotions into this piece because never understood or knew what you meant to me.

I don’t miss you like I used to. I’m glad we’re not together, that we went our separate ways. But I still crave your touch. I ache for it. It’s like you left me empty, hollow. But I found clarity after you left. I’m chasing my dreams like you told me I should. I’m going all out. I miss your laugh though. I miss the way you’d softly drag your fingers along my arms, soothing my heart. I miss burrowing myself into you, into the warmth of your bossom, and feeling your arms around me, filling me with an ultimate feeling of comfort. I felt so safe. I miss the silence we shared just as much as I miss our laughs. It felt as if nothing was wrong. Like nothing in the outside world could affect us. Our moments were peaceful, calm, bliss. I was as high on you, on life, as I could be. And somewhere along the way that changed, I guess. But nonetheless, I will remember those moments. Those moments that stopped time. I will carry them with me, keep them in the back of my mind, forever grateful for them regardless of the after events.

Some days are worse than others, but for the most part, I don’t miss you like I used to. I realized there was nothing I could do to change your mind. To change what you thought or what you felt. I realized I will never really know the truth behind what happened, and I stopped assuming, because I was creating long painful stories in my head that weren’t doing me any good. So regardless of the reasons behind what happened, I hope you chose what made you happy. Because I did. I chose my dreams, my passions, myself. I chose the life that I have always wanted and know I can achieve. I hope you’re doing the same. And I hope the person you have by your side is choosing the same for you.

I believe everything happens for a reason. And I can definitely see why you came into my life, despite leaving me with pain, confusion and loss. You brought out the love in me that I had hidden for so long. Maybe you didn’t deserve that love, maybe you did, but I gave it to you anyways and I don’t regret it. I used to regret it. Trust me I did. I wished I treated you with the same indifference I saw in your eyes at times. I wished desperately that you would understand me. But I don’t think you ever did. That’s okay, it took me a long time to understand myself and I still struggle a lot of the time. But I know what I want now. It’s clear. You broke me so bad, you had me so low, that I had nowhere to go but up. I cracked open. And by doing that, I have redirected myself on the path I know I want to take. I guess I have you to partially thank for that as well.

I don’t miss you like I used to. It’s different. It’s not a desperate, lost or heartbroken feeling. It’s nostalgic, grateful. Because of you, I changed my mentality. I am so happy. So hopeful, strong, and determined. I completely changed the way I see the things that are happening in my life. They all bring positivity and insight. I used to attract and believe in a negative pattern that I put a stop to because of you. Ultimately, you were my breaking point of many years coming. You caused the tip over, and without it, I would have continued to attract the same situations, the same behaviours, and the same people. So yes, I miss your affection, your touch and being held in your arms, and I will forever remember our moments. But I am not looking back. I do not wish that to come back. I am no longer living in those moments. I let go to let myself heal, to understand my emotions and thoughts, and to redirect them. I feel like I can breathe again, and I am looking forward to what life has in store for me. You opened my heart. So I don’t miss you like I used to. I miss you lightly, happily and forever.

I know it lengthy to read but I hope you do read it to finally understand and appreciate that I did loved you this time but…………………….
So don’t you ever ask me that question again

Yours forever beloved

Written by :Connoisseurs Bukarie IV

 

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