Why am I Self-sabotaging

when you hear that word Self-Sabotage what comes to mind ?

Self-sabotage is when you undermine your own goals and values. The behaviors could be both conscious or unconscious depending on how aware you are of them:

You consciously self-sabotage yourself when you are aware of the fact that what you’re doing is undermining one of your goals or values and when you do something that undermines a goal or value but you don’t realize it until after the outcome that is unconscious self-sabotage

The 3 Rs of Eliminating the Self-Sabotaging Syndrome | HuffPost Life

I think of all of the times I was afraid I would succeed at something and begin to talk myself into believing I was unskilled, unworthy, and out of place or procrastinate. I think of the relationships that were going well and I began to talk myself into believing that we were incompatible, I wasn’t good enough for this person, or I didn’t deserve them.

I think about the times that I had been consistently eating healthy and working out and I began to talk myself into believing that a carton of cookies and cream ice cream was perfect for dinner, 2 weeks off from the gym wouldn’t hurt, and downing 3 cups of coffee despite the ridiculous increase in anxiety was a great idea.

I’m wondering if you can relate to any of that? I’m wondering if you have your own battles with self-sabotage? Most of us have and still do at times.

So why then do we self-sabotage?

Well, there are several answers to this question:

Fear of Failure,

Fear of Success,

Lack of Self-Confidence,

Lack of Control, .


Self-sabotage is personal and the reasons behind the act differ from person to person. My reasoning may be much different from yours. For me, I know it’s the fear of success and lack of control most times. If I feel that something may be successful, I tend to shy away. If I feel that I don’t have control over a situation, I want to quit and do something I can control. Think about it. What is it for you?

An even greater question to consider is “What can I do about it?”

First, it’s important for you to be able to realize when you are self-sabotaging (that self-awareness has to be on point!). When you are behaving in a way that doesn’t match the outcome you wanted example eating junk food while saying you want to lose weight or giving up on something you once really wanted like ending a relationship over a minor disagreement or a dream because of low patronage, you have to recognize the self-sabotage.

Question yourself, ask yourself why. Why am I sabotaging this? Why am I doing things to keep me from the outcome I was working towards?

Finally, make a decision. Am I going to continue to move away from my goal or am I going to refocus and get back on track?

At this point, you already know you are sabotaging yourself. You get to decide if this new relationship, project, job, fitness goal, etc is worth it for you to keep pushing forward. If it’s not at this time (doesn’t mean it won’t be down the road), you will give in to the self-sabotage. If it is important to you and you are ready to get out of your own way, you will push forward. You will decide to skip the junk food and grab a piece of fruit. You will have a conversation with your significant other instead of just ending the relationship. You will work out the kinks in your business plan instead of just settling for the job you hate.

Getting through your battle with self-sabotage takes work. It doesn’t just get better because you want it to. It takes thought, commitment, and changed behavior.

Maintaining goal progress and success can be incredibly difficult. Why? Well, progress tracking, motivation, and a clear plan of attack can all be hard to maintain. If you find yourself struggling with these things, you’re in the right place!

Today, I am going to give you the secret to successfully follow through with each of your goals this year by completing yearly and quarterly reviews.

3 thoughts on “Why am I Self-sabotaging

  1. Hi Mercy,
    You’ve made some very helpful observations here. I tend to self-sabotage because of failures in the past that make me not want to be disappointed again. I need to move past that fear of repeated failure. My self-confidence has gotten shattered in the past.
    Your suggestion that I get back on track and not move away from my goal is very helpful. Starting today, I am going to write down my goal (publishing my books), and developing a workable time schedule. Doing a quarterly review of my efforts will keep me focused.
    I’ve taken notes from your blog. It is inspiring. Thank you for this blog.
    Please say a prayer for me. I remember you in my prayers. Have a blessed week ahead.

    1. Hi Jenny,
      I’m so happy my post did help. I would also suggest that do get an accountable partner to help you keep track on your goals 🙂🙂.
      I do remember you in my prayers.
      Thank you so much for the feedback. Do have a wonderful and fulfilled week 🙏🙏

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