SILENCE HELPS NO ONE IN PARENTING

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about that little hand. She’s like a little koala bear, wrapped around my arm asleep. And my heart is, at the same time, melting and fierce. I’d take on the world for her and her sister.

I’ve been putting together a series of blogs specifically for parents. I’ve only been at this parenting thing myself for just shy of two years so I’ve cashed in my lifeline and phoned a couple friends. Because this series is unlike any other I’ve written.

This one is me answering questions I, myself, am asking:

* How do I talk to my kids about pornography?
* How do I protect them?
* What do I do!?

And I know, try as I may, I’m not going to get it right. None of us do. But you better believe I’m going to give it everything I have.

I feel like lots of Christians like rules. Because, you know, rules are tidy, nice, and we can fuss at someone when they break them. Grace… well, grace gets messy. And freedom? Well, no. Just no. And forgiveness? *mind blown*

When I worked as a high school Sunday school teacher I was instructed by church staff to not discuss sex with the teen girls. Teen girls who statistically had likely seen or heard of pornography. Teen girls who knew that some of their friends were having sex (because they had been caught doing so behind the church building during youth group).

But still, even then, the conversation was not allowed.

And that’s not healthy. That is a breeding ground for struggles with sex, sexuality, shame and identity.

The argument was that talking about sex could “lead people to sin.” It’s the same argument I hear when I talk about porn. Obviously, I disagree wholeheartedly.

SILENCE HELPS NO ONE.

And our inability to discuss sex like competent, mature, sexual adults leaves those in our care lost, confused, and looking somewhere else for answers because clearly we don’t have them.

But what if things were different? What if we talked about what healthy sex iooks like? What if we talked about what healthy relationships (even non sexual ones) look like? What if we had more to say than “don’t have it” and “don’t think about it” until you’re married?

Call me crazy, but I feel like if we did that. .. we would start a different kind of sexual revolution. Basically, if we were more like ambassadors and less like police, we would be able to lead more people to freedom, healing and grace.

What if…

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