WAYS TO DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP

95% of conflicts, break ups and divorce are caused by couples in the relationship or marriage. The remaining 5% is as a result of external factors which still need the concern or approval of the couples.

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Honestly if your relationship or marriage is not working as you had wanted, dreamt or wished for, then it’s either you or your partner or both are responsible for it. Before you begin to look for external factors to blame for the mess in your relationship, try asking yourself what you did or didn’t do right to cause all the mess.

There’s something anyone in a relationship could have done to save a troubled relationship or marriage but because of selfish reasons and unwillingness on the part of a partner to corporate, they allowed their relationship to die. There are two kinds of people in every troubled relationship and these are the starter and the sustainer.

The starter is the one who creates the mess, misunderstanding, issues, disappointments or hurts and the sustainer is the victim of the situation. When this happens, the onus lies on the victim to either sustain the hurt by holding unto it and taking revenge or letting it go. If the sustainer holds on to the hurt and refuses to let go, then the relationship will be heading towards destruction.

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With time the unsettled issue will kill the peace in the relationship and as long as there’s no peace there won’t be love to keep the couples going.

How does one become a starter in a relationship? The answer is simple and that is; when you either refuse to do what is expected of you or you decide to do what is not expected of you. The first category is the place most couples find themselves in and probably you may be part of them.

This is the kind of couples who refuse to accept their responsibilities as responsible partners in the relationship. That is when you know what your partner needs but deliberately ignore to honor them. You know that a relationship needs time but you refuse to make time for your partner and engage in other activities. You know what your partner keeps complaining about but you still keep doing it.

You know the things that communicate love to your partner but you still refuse to give it to your partner. When you do that, you are only starving your partner and pushing him or her to get those satisfaction elsewhere. The victims in this group are able to stay long in a relationship or marriage but will not really be enjoying the relationship.

Their only option is to keep complaining in the hope that their partners will one day begin to acknowledge their responsibilities and work towards it.

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