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VULNERABLE POST: What does depression look like

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Depression looks like the girl who’s the life of the party— but when she gets home declines all incoming calls & goes into a downward spiral of self loathing & self deprecating.

Looks like the guy who’s always making jokes— but the reality is that he’s tired of performing.

Looks like the girl who laughs hard, and always shows up— but in reality she cried her eyes out in the parking lot.

Looks like the guy who says yes when he really wants to say no— bc he doesn’t wanna feel rejected.

Looks like the girl who perseveres and is most certainly an overcomer— but in reality she’s ready to throw in the towel…

It looks like the guy who’s always positive about everything— but in reality he suffers from anxiety.

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It looks like the girl who genuinely loves but feels completely unloved, unworthy and unwanted.

It’s quite the conundrum you see… after all, that girl, that guy they have Jesus in their heart. In fact, they aren’t baby Christians, they are leaders!

These are so many of the triggers I dealt with when I felt my world crumble before me. I can talk about this today with transparency because am no longer there. And it wasn’t sin, it wasn’t open doors, it was the fact that I was ignoring what and how I really felt.

I had never been taught to process my emotions, on the contrary, I was taught not to feel.

I was fearful of losing what I thought I had paid a price for because I was under the impression that titles were earned, not given… when in reality, God called me from my mother’s womb!

It wasn’t until my failed suicide attempt that in a sense saved my life, that I began to ask for help. First to God, eventually to a friend, my husband and so on; I began to talk about it.

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I yielded completely to the Holy Ghost, and began to put my trust in my Abba Father, again.

The Lord made a way for me and led me to community and through community I began to find my purpose again— books, podcasts started my hunger to want to speak out to help others as I got stronger.

Pastor Didi

Pastordidi is a Wife, Mom, Pastor and believes to be an identity in Christ to lead 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

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